Don’t roll your eyes, Canada—this isn’t satire; it’s cold, harsh reality. America invading Canada isn’t as absurd as you think. Trump and his cronies have been quietly laying the groundwork for years, and if you’re still laughing, it’s time to wake the fuck up.
Firstly, forget the fantasy and folklore that America is some beacon of stability or a shining city on a hill. Although that might have been true once, they’re now plunging headlong into authoritarianism and fascism, purging the Pentagon of officers loyal to the Constitution and stacking it with Trump loyalists who’d gladly follow insane orders without blinking. NATO? It’s finished—along with the previous 80 years of international norms and rules. If the U.S. moves against Canada or any other ally, NATO crumbles, making Putin’s wet dream a reality. Europe won’t rush to our aid against the Americans; they’re already consumed with building forces and supporting Ukraine in crushing Russian aggression and imperialism on their own continent.
Look south and see clearly: America is already testing the waters. Trump’s “jokes” about annexing Canada and calling it the “51st state” aren’t just bluster—they’re probing NATO’s weak points. It’s straight outta Putin’s playbook—fake justifications, economic isolation, and international pressure. Ukraine and Georgia felt it; don’t think Canada is somehow immune.
Now, Trump is challenging our 117-year-old border treaty, questioning the legitimacy of our established boundaries. This isn’t just talk; it’s a strategic move to undermine our sovereignty. If Canada doesn’t agree to Trump’s mythical new boundary, the next step could be sending troops to “secure” it.
They’re already choking our economy, isolating us internationally, and invading our airspace under the pretense of “border patrol,” all while secretly gathering intelligence on key Canadian targets. Simultaneously, Trump has gutted the Pentagon, purging officers loyal to the Constitution and replacing them with obedient stooges who’ll blindly carry out his deranged orders.
But what about our military? Canada’s armed forces might not match America’s in conventional strength, but a U.S. invasion would ignite a resistance unlike anything North America has ever seen. Dr. Aisha Ahmad from the University of Toronto lays it out clearly: if even 1% of Canadians take up arms, that’s 400,000 guerrilla fighters—ten times the initial force of the Taliban. Forget tanks and artillery; we’re talking urban and rural insurgencies that would make America’s occupations in Afghanistan and Iraq look like weekend camping trips.
It wouldn’t just be guerrilla fighters in flannel toques, either. Allies from Europe, the Commonwealth, and over time I’m betting NATO would covertly support us with arms, training, and intelligence. America’s global rivals, like China and Russia, would exploit the chaos, undermining American interests worldwide, destabilizing the U.S. economy, and triggering geopolitical upheaval.
What would this war look like at home? Canada’s economy would be devastated, infrastructure shattered, and thousands dead on both sides. Entire cities would face destruction, communities shattered, and generations scarred. Forget jokes about maple syrup and hockey—this would be brutal and bloody guerrilla warfare. The Americans have never faced an opponent who lives right beside them with a largely unguarded border—people who look like them, sound like them, understand their culture, and are deeply fucking angry with them.
The U.S. wouldn’t get off easy in any way, shape, or form. Their economy would implode from prolonged warfare, their military would bleed out, and their population would become deeply divided, revolting against endless conflict. America’s credibility as a global leader would be permanently shattered. And who benefits from this chaos, you ask? Why would they do it? Because Trump is Putin’s proxy, holding the door wide open for evil every hour of every day, and Elon Musk—Putin’s tech guy—is actively dismantling the United States government’s digital infrastructure as you read this article.
Too many Canadians are STILL shrugging off this threat, believing America’s dysfunction means they’ll never act. Wrong. Dysfunction makes them dangerous, unpredictable, and desperate—exactly the conditions under which insane actions happen. We’ve seen this before, from Vietnam to Iraq: presidents launch military actions without Congressional approval all the time—125 times since World War II, to be exact.
Complacency is our greatest enemy. America is spiraling into conspiracy theories and imperial delusions, with no functional opposition left to hold Trump accountable. All it takes is one command, one moment of madness—and the world as we know it ends, leaving survivors fighting with sticks and stones over a chicken (that probably has bird flu).
Let’s be crystal clear: this invasion wouldn’t just mean battles; it would unleash decades of guerrilla war, mass casualties, and economic ruin on both sides. Nobody sane wants this.
But here’s a reality check, Canada—our neighbours are losing their minds, and while they sort their shit out, we must stay vigilant, united, and prepared. The price of ignoring reality is far higher than any of us can imagine or afford.
Resources and further reading:
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MSN – “Trump wants to revise US-Canada boundary, questions 117-year-old treaty: report”
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trump-wants-to-revise-us-canada-boundary-questions-117-year-old-treaty-report/ar-AA1Au9ZR
(This MSN article reports on President Trump’s proposal to renegotiate the 1908 treaty that established the US-Canada border, suggesting that the current boundary is outdated and should be revised to better reflect modern geopolitical and economic realities.) -
Calgary Herald – “Braid: Invading Canada would spark guerrilla fight lasting decades, expert says”
https://calgaryherald.com/opinion/columnists/braid-invading-canada-would-spark-guerrilla-fight-lasting-decades-expert-says
(This Calgary Herald article discusses expert opinions on the potential consequences of a hypothetical invasion of Canada, suggesting that such an event would lead to prolonged guerrilla warfare lasting for decades.) -
The Conversation – “Why annexing Canada would destroy the United States”
https://theconversation.com/why-annexing-canada-would-destroy-the-united-states-249561
(This article from The Conversation explores the potential negative consequences for the United States if it were to annex Canada, arguing that such an action could lead to economic turmoil, cultural clashes, and geopolitical instability.) -
CBC – “What if the U.S. invaded Canada?”
https://www.cbc.ca/radio/frontburner/what-if-the-u-s-invaded-canada-transcript-1.7461920
(This CBC article explores the hypothetical scenario of a U.S. invasion of Canada, discussing historical plans like War Plan Red and the potential consequences of such an action.) -
Maclean’s – “Canada: 51st State of America?”
https://macleans.ca/society/canada-51st-state-america/
(This Maclean’s article explores the hypothetical scenario of Canada becoming the 51st state of the United States, examining the historical context, political implications, and public opinion surrounding such a proposition.) -
VICE – “What Would Happen in the Minutes and Hours After the US Invaded Canada?”
https://www.vice.com/en/article/what-would-happen-in-the-minutes-and-hours-after-the-us-invaded-canada/
(This VICE article explores a hypothetical U.S. invasion of Canada, detailing the immediate military strategies and potential consequences of such an action.) -
National Post – “Trump’s expansionist ambitions: Canada, Greenland, and Panama in the crosshairs”
https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/trump-violate-international-law-invade-canada-greenland-panama
(This National Post article examines President Trump’s controversial proposals to annex Canada, purchase Greenland, and reclaim control over the Panama Canal, analyzing the potential violations of international law and the geopolitical ramifications of such actions.)
