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Doug Ford’s Snap Winter Election: Starlink, Healthcare, the Greenbelt, and More!

Strap the Fk In, Ontario!

Let’s get this out in the open right off the bat: Doug Ford is another wannabe Trump. The man practically licked the boots of The Donald until that cozy relationship started looking like political arsenic. Now he’s pulling off a snap election—not out of some noble calling to serve Ontarians, but because he’s scared shitless that all his scandal-riddled nonsense will finally swallow him whole.

And let’s not forget his starry-eyed love affair with Elon Musk—the guy spearheading the dismantling of the United States on behalf of Putin and the rest. Ford canceled a $100 million Starlink contract (RIP OFF ALERT!) because of Trump’s tariffs, only to bring it back once the dust settled—it’s political theater at its laziest. So here we are, Ontario, barreling into an election timed for Ford’s convenience, not ours.

What follows is a no-holds-barred takedown of Doug Ford’s biggest and most infuriating fuck-ups. Buckle up. We’re skipping the niceties and diving straight into the swamp.

Starlink Contract, Trump Tariffs & Suspicious Election Call (2025)

In early 2025, Doug Ford tore up a $100 million contract with Elon Musk’s Starlink, blaming Donald Trump’s plan for a 25% tariff on Canadian imports. Then—like a bad TV show nobody asked for—Ford flip-flopped and brought the contract back as soon as the tariff threat cooled. If that wasn’t shady enough, Ford called a snap election in January 2025, right when the Greenbelt scandal was blowing up around him. Critics say it’s pretty clear he wanted to lock in his power before any legal heat could catch up. Nothing screams “public service” like rushing an election to dodge accountability, right?

RCMP Criminal Investigation

The RCMP is officially digging into Doug Ford’s government for what looks like good old-fashioned corruption and developer favoritism—especially tied to that shady Greenbelt land swap we keep hearing about. Ford keeps calling the allegations “baseless,” but let’s be honest: you don’t get a visit from the Mounties for a parking ticket. This is the kind of heat that only comes when there’s serious evidence on the table. If Ford thought he could dodge accountability by waving off the scandal, the RCMP clearly has other ideas.

Rising Ontario Debt & Fiscal Mismanagement

Doug Ford loves to brag about being a “fiscal conservative,” but the proof is in the numbers. Under his watch, Ontario’s debt ballooned by a jaw-dropping $86 billion—hardly the belt-tightening we were promised. Instead of delivering a balanced budget or meaningful financial reforms, Ford handed out flashy distractions like corner-store booze and staged photo-ops. The result? Broken promises, deeper debt, and a province stuck footing the bill.

Cronyism, Nepotism & Corrupt Appointments

Doug Ford’s attempt to appoint his family friend, Ron Taverner, as the OPP Commissioner backfired so spectacularly that Taverner walked away before the ink was even dry. And that was just the opening act. Ford’s Chief of Staff, Dean French, engineered a revolving door of cozy appointments, loading government positions with buddies who had no business being there. One by one, these folks resigned once the media spotlight revealed their questionable connections—transforming Ford’s administration into a clown car of corruption.

Attacks on Judges & the Justice System

Doug Ford made headlines by promising to “hold judges accountable” if they grant bail to repeat offenders—a move critics say is more about bullying the bench than protecting the public. By publicly threatening the judiciary, Ford is basically flipping the bird at the separation of powers. When a premier starts telling judges how to do their jobs, you can bet the rule of law is about to take a serious hit.

Anti-Labor Policies

In 2022, Doug Ford thought it was a good idea to bully CUPE education workers by forcing them into a contract and straight-up banning their right to strike. He even dragged out the notwithstanding clause—basically flipping off the Charter of Rights—to make sure no one could challenge him in court. But after giant protests and public outrage, he had to backpedal hard and repeal Bill 28. This is classic Doug: pick a fight, stir up trouble, and when the heat turns up, slink away pretending it never happened.

Allegations of Past Drug Trafficking (1980s)

Back in 2013, the Globe and Mail dropped a bombshell claiming that Doug Ford was involved in the hashish trade in 1980s Toronto. While no formal charges ever stuck, it’s the kind of rumor that makes you raise an eyebrow—especially for a guy who loves preaching about law and order. This might not be something Doug’s keen to highlight on his résumé, but it’s out there for anyone who wants to take a look.

The Greenbelt Scandal

Doug Ford took a wrecking ball to Ontario’s protected Greenbelt, removing 7,400 acres and handing a golden ticket to developer pals who just happened to snag the land ahead of time. As the scandal blew up, both Housing Minister Steve Clark and Public and Business Service Delivery Minister Kaleed Rasheed left their posts—like rats jumping off a sinking ship. And when the RCMP got involved, Ford finally reversed his decision. But let’s face it: the damage is already done, and the public trust took a huge hit.

Ontario Place Destruction: Ford’s $2.2 Billion Boondoggle

Doug Ford’s government has embarked on a controversial redevelopment of Ontario Place, transforming cherished public green space into a massive private spa complex. This project, awarded to Austrian developer Therme Group, involves clear-cutting over 850 trees and leasing the land for an astonishing 95 years. The public cost has ballooned from an initial estimate of $300 million in 2019 to a staggering $2.2 billion in 2024. Ontario’s Auditor General slammed the process as “not fair, transparent or accountable,” highlighting secretive deals and a lack of public consultation. Despite widespread opposition and legal challenges, Ford’s administration is plowing ahead, prioritizing private interests over environmental preservation and public access. This reckless disregard for Toronto’s natural heritage is an affront to the community and a blatant misuse of taxpayer funds.

Misuse of Minister’s Zoning Orders (MZOs)

One of Doug Ford’s favorite tricks has been whipping out MZOs (Minister’s Zoning Orders) to bulldoze local planning rules and fast-track developments—conveniently benefiting pals linked to his party. Municipalities and environmental advocates raised red flags, warning that these projects often bypass proper reviews. But Ford shrugged it off, treating the orders like a personal get-out-of-regulation-free card. MZOs were never meant to rubber-stamp every pet project; they’re supposed to address urgent provincial needs, not line the pockets of well-connected developers.

Healthcare

Bill 60 gave private clinics the green light to handle publicly funded surgeries, which critics say is basically a one-way ticket to two-tier health care. While this hands big profits to private operators, the public system is left bleeding nurses and scrambling for resources. Ford keeps talking about “efficiency,” but under his watch, funding cuts and burnout are pushing medical staff to their limits. Meanwhile, he’s busy throwing money at headline-grabbing freebies rather than shoring up a system that Ontarians actually rely on.

Education

Doug Ford tried to drag Ontario’s sex-ed curriculum back to 1998—essentially pretending the internet, social media, and modern family structures don’t exist. Meanwhile, public schools have been starved of resources and funding, with class sizes ballooning and teachers left scrambling. It sure looks like Ford would rather pave the way for private or charter-style schools than invest in the system most Ontarians actually rely on.

Environmental Destruction & Fossil Fuel Lobbying

Doug Ford didn’t just give fossil fuels a nod—he rolled out the red carpet. He overrode regulatory checks to push through a gas expansion project with Enbridge, raising alarms among environmental groups who saw it as shameless favoritism for Big Oil. Meanwhile, Ford systematically gutted renewable energy initiatives, leaving Ontario’s green future on the back burner. The message couldn’t be clearer: fossil fuel interests come first, and the environment can wait.

Funding Cuts for Indigenous & Francophone Communities

In 2019, Doug Ford made the baffling choice to slash the Ministry of Indigenous Affairs budget by 50%, sending a clear message that reconciliation might be more of a buzzword than a real priority. On top of that, he pulled the plug on plans for a French-language university, leaving Ontario’s francophone population feeling like an afterthought. Together, these moves have alienated two communities that have long been fighting for recognition and support—and Ford’s cuts only deepen that divide.

Bike Lane Removal Plan

In 2024, Doug Ford went on a mission to rip out bike lanes across Toronto, claiming it would “ease congestion.” But many saw it as a blatant move to appease suburban drivers who aren’t big fans of cyclists. Urban planners and biking advocates were furious—pointing out that fewer bike lanes mean higher accident risks and a big step backward for sustainable travel. Ford’s war on pedals proved once again that he’s more interested in short-term political points than long-term city planning.

IT’S PAST TIME TO Kick This DOFO Clown to the Curb!

There you have it—Doug Ford’s shameful highlight reel and the tip of the shit berg, from his Trump-style tariff dance to the Greenbelt fiasco, RCMP investigations, and a laundry list of screw-overs for labor, the environment, healthcare, education, and basically any group that doesn’t line his pockets. He’s bankrupting Ontario—morally and financially—while pulling every manipulative trick in the book to stay in power.

This snap election? It’s no civic duty. It’s a Hail Mary for a politician who knows the walls are closing in. So do us all a favor: the next time you step into a voting booth, remember the litany of bullshit above. Because Ontario deserves far better than a knockoff Trump doubling down on shady deals and backroom politics.

It’s time to show Doug Ford the door and find leadership that actually gives a damn about this province.

If you haven’t seen my “Cottage Talks” series yet, I crash Doug Ford’s cottage to chat about his latest antics, from convoy chaos to healthcare havoc and the Greenbelt grab. Click the thumbnails below to watch each episode and get the full scoop on Doug’s anti-Canadian BS.

This bullshit is changing every minute – follow on BlueSky for the latest.

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